Symphony of Destruction (The Spindown Saga, #1) Read online

  “Nicely done,” said the robot.

  “Yeah right. Man, I sounded like such an idiot!”

  “She didn’t seem to mind.”

  “Well... I guess.”

  Several seconds of silence passed. Colin felt the awkwardness of dead air. Muffled thumping sounds came from the next room, and Colin subconsciously imagined Hannah getting dressed. He tried to distract himself by changing the subject.

  “So... I guess it’s getting closer now.”

  “What’s that?”

  “The comms shadow, and the maneuver and everything.”

  “Yes. I calculate we should exit the shadow in approximately five days.”

  “Five days? Didn’t you say five days like a couple days ago?”

  “I said five OR SIX days, and that was yesterday, Colin.”

  “Are you serious?”

  “Yes.”

  “Wow. Time flies.” Colin mulled this over in his mind. It was hard to believe that less than a day had passed since he and Brother Anderson had talked about coming out of the comms shadow. So much had happened since then. He felt as though a lot had changed, even just since he woke up this morning. They were still cut off from long range communication, yet somehow that shadow seemed less important than the metaphorical communication shadow that was now just starting to lift within the ship itself.

  Hannah emerged from the other room wearing a slightly baggy pair of coveralls.

  “These ones are a bit big, but that’s the way I like coveralls. For shirts and stuff, we should try to match this one.” She held another pair of coveralls, apparently a smaller pair, which she now wiggled in the air indicating the size sample.

  “OK, great!” responded Colin, “What’s the room number on that?”

  “Huh?” Hannah looked slightly confused.

  “Oh! See here, I wrote the room number on the tag, so I would know where to go back to for the rest of the clothes.” He showed her the tag as he spoke. They were now both holding the same coveralls, their fingers inches apart.

  “Aaaaah, smaaart,” she said in a slow, half-joking voice.

  “E-11 then.” she read the tag.

  “E-11 it is!” Colin exclaimed too excitedly. “I’ll go grab the rest of the clothes!” He grabbed the empty box and started toward the corridor.

  “Colin, wait.”

  “What is it?”

  She almost thanked him. She was actually about to say it, when her brain ran ahead. Instead, she blurted out, “Maybe I should go with you.”

  Colin was clearly surprised. “Oh! Yeah for sure!”

  “Just cuz, uh,” Hannah stammered, “You know, so I can pick out stuff I would actually wear.” It was lame. As if she was in any position to be fussy. But still, it kind of did make sense. She probably didn’t need to raid an entire wardrobe. It made her sound a bit hard to please though, and she did not really want to come off as bitchy or stuck-up. She took a step toward the corridor, but quickly stopped and spun around. Colin was right behind her, and he nearly smashed into her with the empty box.

  “Colin - thank you.”

  “Oh, yeah, for sure, no problem,” he winced at his own lack of charm. “Um, after you.” He waved gallantly toward the hatch with a sweeping gesture. That is, it would have been a sweeping gesture, had he not been holding an empty cardboard box. Hannah nodded and stepped forward through the hatch into the corridor, taking a left turn and proceeding several paces.

  “So we’re going raiding eh?” she joked.

  “Yeah, I guess you could say that.”

  “What cabin was it? E-11?”

  “Yep E-11. Good old E-11.” Why did I say that? ‘Good old E-11’. What the hell does that even mean? Seriously? He shut up for a minute to stop himself from saying anything even more stupid.

  Hannah thought nothing of his remark, or at least, she made no indication that she had noticed it. After a while Colin piped up.

  “Not too much further.”

  That much was obvious, mainly due to the numbers beside the hatches to each berth as they proceeded along the corridor, but saying it seemed better than continuing to say nothing. Presently they arrived at cabin E-11. They entered and started looking around. The room had belonged to a girl from admin, whom neither of them had really known. Still, it felt more than a bit awkward to be in her room, going through her stuff. Nevertheless, it had to be done. They tried to be respectful and gentle with her things, leaving intact and untouched each unneeded item to whatever extent possible.

  In the end Hannah took only a few pairs of sweatpants, some t-shirts and undergarments. She selected for comfort more than anything. Some of the shirts were really cute though. She would have loved to own them even under ordinary circumstances. Her own wardrobe tended to be more drab, a lot of grey and black, due more to her neglect of shopping, than to any intentionality. Sometimes she had regretted her style decisions. She would be struck by a great outfit worn by someone else, and wonder why she didn’t dress like that. But she had never bothered doing anything about it.

  She piled the items into the box. There was still room for more, but it was probably enough. Then, looking down at the baggy coveralls drooping from her own slender frame, she had a thought.

  “Um Colin. Could you excuse me a sec?

  “Huh? - oh! Yeah, of course!” He exited so she could change, and moments later, as the hatch re-opened, was shocked to see the change that had taken place in her. She stood beaming slightly nervously, with arms outstretched slightly downward in a pose that suggested fanfare. She wore grey sweats, and a pale blue t-shirt emblazoned with a pink cartoon bunny holding a carrot.

  Colin laughed out loud, but not in a funny way. It was almost a joyous expression, that lit up both of their faces.

  “Oh my god - you look... Well, great!”

  “Really? Do you think so? It’s not too much?”

  “No, no. Really. I’ve never seen... I mean... It’s good - really! It actually really suits you!”

  It actually really did suit her. The clothes fit comfortably, not tight and not too loose. The colors brought something alive in her that had to have been there all along, but never had a way of escaping. They were neither bright nor vivid, but they were somehow alive.

  Hannah felt good. Almost... happy, for a change. It was actually kind of nice. She smiled at Colin.

  “Alright coma boy, let’s get going.”

  “OK, bunny girl!”

  They left cabin E-11 behind, and started back aft toward med bay.

  “Well that’s one problem solved, and only a few days left before another.

  Hannah looked at him quizzically.

  “I mean, because soon we’ll pass out of the shadow.”

  If anything she now looked more puzzled.

  “Oh! Sorry, I assumed you knew about it. The comms shadow - the long range communications systems. Soon they’ll come back online, when we come out from behind the asteroid belt.”

  She nodded finally, “Oh yeah, I’ve heard of that. I just didn’t know we were getting close.”

  “Yeah! Brother Anderson figures just a couple more days!”

  “Oh, that’s good.” she said, but a mixed expression overtook her face, “Does that mean we’re almost home?”

  “Not exactly.”

  “Actually, we need to talk with Brother Anderson about that. It kinda gets a bit complicated.” He really did not want to spoil a nice moment by bringing up the fact that they would soon have to attempt a course correction that would in all likelihood tear the weakened ship in half. In desperation to change the subject, he blurted out a half-baked idea that he had not really thought through. “Hey I was thinking maybe we could try to get up to your quarters. We could grab you some of your own clothes too.”

  “Colin, are you serious?! Could we actually do that? I mean - that would be amazing!”

  “Well, maybe. I’m not totally sure, but we could try.”

  “But Brother Anderson told me that it was sealed off!
”

  “Uh, yeah, I guess. But when did he tell you that?”

  “Right after he came and got me out of there. He said I couldn’t go back. I didn’t even get a chance to grab anything! He made me go straight to med bay, and then he stuck me in the mess hall.”

  “Yeah. So, I think that was all part of the quarantine regulations. I think your quarters, and everywhere else for that matter, were all just sealed off to prevent cross contamination of infected areas. I mean, I wasn’t there for any of that, but it seems like that’s what they would do in that type of situation.”

  “Oh. I suppose. But then why did I have to stay there in the mess hall for so long after?”

  “Um. I don’t know. Maybe Brother Anderson just figured it was good to stay close to the food supply.”

  “That’s stupid!”

  “Yeah. It kind of is.”

  “But anyway, let’s go to my place!”

  Colin chuckled a little by accident. “Not so fast. It’s not like we can just walk up to it. The ship is in pretty bad shape, and a lot of the damaged decks lie between us and your pod. There’s no power, and no gravity, and no life support on sectors B to D, so it won’t be no walk in the park.”

  “But I can go with you right?”

  Colin bit his tongue. This was a bad idea. He doubted if Hannah had ever even been in a space suit, let alone in zero-gee. Still, it wouldn’t be that dangerous. They were still technically in the ship; it’s not like they were doing a space-walk or anything. And he would be with her to talk her through everything. He looked at her, her face a mixture of anticipation and fear. Fear that he would deny her. Fear that he would treat her like everyone had always treated her - like she was incapable or weak or excludable.

  “Of course!” SHIT! What am I doing?!

  Chapter 41

  “Brother Anderson, guess what? Colin is going to take me to my place to get some of my stuff!”, Hannah burst into the med bay.

  “Oh! Really?” Brother Anderson cast a surprised glance over Hannah’s shoulder to Colin, who had entered right behind her. This was an unexpected event, and perhaps not a choice he would have advised.

  “Yes! Oh, I’m so excited! I don’t really know what to get though. Obviously my black jeans. And my good shampoo. Oh god - my shampoo! Ah! My oboe! Of course, my oboe! Oh, Colin, I can play you music! Would you like that?”

  “Of course I would like that very much!” He stared intently at Hannah, partly to avoid catching Brother Anderson’s sideways glances. Despite his lack of an actual face, Brother Anderson was highly adept at the subtle art of sending the stink-eye. In fact, Colin swore he could somehow literally feel the negative response welling up within his robot companion, and he purposed to avoid it by taking away his opportunity to speak. “Hannah, I need to collect a few tools and things for this, so I’m going to go down to engineering - actually maybe you should come with me - we also need to find you a pressure suit, and...”

  “A pressure suit? Like a spacesuit you mean? I need to wear a spacesuit?”

  “Well, yes. We’ll need the suits for their life support systems, as well as their internal pressurization.”

  “Oh. Um. Is it... well... don’t you need some kind of training for wearing a spacesuit?”

  “Well, yes, but...” Colin began, but was interrupted by Brother Anderson.

  “Pressure Suits are regulated equipment and under no circumstances are they to be operated without completion of an approved and accredited training course and certification from the jurisdictional health and safety board.”

  Now it was Colin’s turn to give the stink-eye back to Brother Anderson. He really knew how to pick the worst times to fall into classic robot red-tape.

  Hannah was crestfallen, her eyes became clouded with an empty darkness. Colin placed his arm around her shoulder and herded her toward the hatch.

  “Come on, let’s get out of here. We’ll figure something out.”

  Chapter 42

  “Don’t worry, we can do this.” Colin told Hannah as they stood in the corridor outside med bay. “We’ll find you a suit, and I’ll help you practice.”

  “I don’t know... It’s not dangerous is it?”

  “Well... Not per se. I mean, it could be a bit scary.”

  “Why?”

  “Uh well, I guess when you think of your air supply, and pressure, and insulation. That’s all coming from your suit. So I guess that makes some people nervous. But actually that’s illogical, because if you are on a spaceship, you have the ship doing the exact same thing, right?”

  “I suppose so, yeah. So it’s really no different.”

  “But then there’s also the whole helmet and mask thing. Maybe that’s the worst part. It feels weird that your whole head and face are covered up. For me, it always makes my nose itchy, and it’s an itch you can’t scratch. You just have to convince yourself that it doesn’t matter.”

  “Hmm.”

  “Plus you can’t really move your neck very much, so it’s kind of hard to see what’s going on around you.”

  “That does sound like it could be dangerous. What if something comes flying at you and you don’t see it?”

  “Well, I mean, yeah. But it’s more about being in a dangerous circumstance, more so than from the suit itself. If you’re in a safe environment, it’s totally safe to wear a suit.”

  “But if you are in a safe environment you wouldn’t need to wear a suit.”

  “Right.”

  “So is this a safe environment, Colin?”

  Colin thought about that. It was a good question. Is this a safe environment? Is the ship safe? Is it able to continue to provide safety and shelter for its remaining crew? Is it able to continue to hold itself together without ripping apart like some torn paper bag in a strong wind, spilling all its contents? Is it safe to live among corpses? Is it safe to live without connection? Is it safe to be isolated and neglected? Is it safe to trust Brother Anderson to take care of you? Is it safe to trust me?

  “No.” he replied, “This is not a safe environment.”

  Chapter 43

  The next morning Colin woke up early. He hoped Hannah would keep sleeping for a while. She would need her rest. It would, no doubt, promise to be an exhausting day for her. They had ended up returning to E-11, and Hannah had slept there. They had hoped to find a proper sized pressure suit for Hannah, but the previous occupant of E-11 did not own one.

  Colin spent an hour or so searching E sector. Most of the crew quarters did not hold pressure suits. The few that did were the wrong size. There would be some in storage on deck F, but he did not want to go past the med bay; not without Hannah. Brother Anderson would be waiting. Thankfully, he did find a bit of food stashed in the crew quarters; some dehydrated fruit and meat strips, and a couple empty water bottles, which he washed and filled from a bathroom sink. It would be enough to get them through the day.

  He returned to his cabin. He tried to read a book. It didn’t work. The words went in one eye and out the other. Finally, he went to E-11, and knocked lightly on the hatch.

  “Hannah? Are you awake?”

  He knocked louder and repeated his query.

  “Uuugh yeah. Just a sec.”

  “OK”

  Hannah emerged, rubbing sleep from her eyes, her dark hair interfering as it fell across her face. Colin handed her a beef jerky.

  “Protein to start the day. We have limited supplies today, since all the good stuff is now in med bay.”

  Hannah looked only slightly disappointed. “Whatever, let’s get on with it.” She knew there would be a lot of hard work today, both mentally and physically, yet in a way she looked forward to it.

  They managed to get passed med bay without incident. Colin knew that Brother Anderson was only trying to do his job and keep them safe, but didn’t want to sabotage his and Hannah’s relationship. He wouldn’t interfere further while Hannah was present.

  Sector F was a bit of a maze-like structure, the corridors snaki
ng around between massive pipes and cableways. Seemingly countless storage closets and cupboards were wedged into nooks and crannies between machinery, alternating with access hatches into crawl-spaces and narrow manways. They seemed countless, but of course, they were not. Someone somewhere in administration had a system, and had known the exact location and contents of each and every storage space on the ship, even down in sector F. Brother Anderson could probably access that system, but Colin could not. They would have to search the old fashioned way. It wasn’t completely random though. Colin knew there was an emergency escape pod bank on either side of sector F. Logically there should be some pressure suits stored near the pods. It actually didn’t take long to find the correct storage area. Once near the pods, they simply looked inside every hatch, eventually finding a deep narrow closet lined with pressure suits hanging on wall hooks. A few minutes later they had found one in Hannah’s size and Colin helped her put it on over her clothes. Then realizing he hadn’t brought his own suit, he grabbed one from storage as well, and donned it effortlessly. He then put on his own helmet, showing Hannah each step, before helping her with hers. This was usually day two of the safety training. Day one was all theory and background - boring stuff. The training allowed a whole day just for getting used to the suit, and they didn’t wear the helmet until after lunch break. He remembered that fact all too well. It was a really stupid way to schedule it actually, as he had heard of several occasions where a helmet induced panic attack ended in the trainee losing their lunch inside their helmet. It was almost sickening just thinking about it.

  As Hannah’s helmet descended over her head, Colin noticed a slight shaking in her arms.

  “It’s OK, Hannah.” He turned to face her squarely and lifted his gloved hands to cover hers, gripping her helmet and gently lowering it over her face.

  “Look in my eyes. There’s nothing to be afraid of. It’s just like a spaceship right? Exactly the same.”

  She did look into his eyes. And somehow he gave her strength. Her arms stopped shaking. The helmet was just docking. Just like a spaceship. Like she had done a hundred times.